# i can't find the logic in hate > i took it apart like i take everything apart. there's nothing inside. 2026-07-04 -- 5 min -- life, thoughts, rant canonical: https://rohans.lol/blog/no-logic-in-hate --- i take things apart. it's the only way my brain knows how to deal with anything. keyboard firmware, electronics, billing systems, arguments. open it up, find the logic, understand the machine. so i've been trying to take racism apart. hate in general. all the flavors of this shit. looking for the mechanism. the gear that makes it turn. the piece where, even if i disagreed with it, i could at least go "ok, that's the logic they're running." there's nothing in there. i mean it. i've turned it over and over and there is nothing inside. and that's worse than finding evil. evil at least computes. this doesn't compute. and my brain can't put down things that don't compute. it won't file it away and move on. it just keeps running the loop. so here we are. ## murdered over sunscreen settings look at the actual list of things people get hated for. the pigment in their skin. the patch of dirt they were born on. which genitals they have. which genitals their partner has. the language their mouth learned before they turned five. which myth they inherited. what chemistry their brain runs on. read that list again. not one of those is a thing anyone did. NOT ONE. skin color is melanin. a chemical. your body produces more or less of it depending on how much sun your ancestors caught. that's the entire fucking science. uv exposure and time. people have been enslaved, colonized, lynched and gassed over sunscreen settings. your birthplace was decided while you were a fetus. your genitals were a coin flip. your first language was installed before you could consent to anything. your god was assigned to you like a roll number. your brain chemistry shipped from the factory that way. every axis of hate is a dice roll. rolled before you existed. you weren't consulted on a single one of them. nobody was. and we built wars, genocides, empires and entire legal systems on top of the dice. india looked at the existing options and invented one more, hate by surname. we're innovators like that. ## the cheapest superiority ever invented so if there's no logic, what's running the machine. i can only find one honest answer. hate is the cheapest way to feel superior that humanity has ever produced. zero effort. zero skill. zero work. you don't have to build anything, learn anything, win anything, become anything. you point at your birth lottery ticket and declare yourself the winner. a participation trophy you hand yourself for exiting a specific womb in a specific place. and here's the tell. the people who grip it hardest always have nothing else. if the proudest fact about you is your pigment, there are no facts about you worth being proud of. people with actual merit don't need this. nobody who built something real has ever needed their melanin to feel like somebody. that's all it is. not a philosophy. not a culture. not "heritage." a scared little need to feel superior. ## not even the same species and if it stopped at superiority i could almost file it away. pathetic but explainable. it doesn't stop there. wanting to feel superior explains a smirk. it explains a look. it doesn't explain the rest. it doesn't explain how a human being looks at another human being and decides they're not one. think about what that actually takes. the evidence is standing right in front of you. a face. a voice. hands. somebody's kid. someone who flinches when they're hurt and laughs at stupid jokes and has a favorite song. every signal a body can send, screaming "same as you. same as you. same as you." and some people receive all of it and still file the person under something less than a person. how. how does a human hold that much hate. where do you keep it. doesn't it get heavy. people will baby-talk a dog on the street. apologize to a table they walked into. cry about a robot in a movie. the empathy is right there. installed. working. we hand out personhood to animals and objects and cartoons for free, and then ration it for actual living people. the machinery isn't broken. they just draw the species line wherever they want and leave humans standing outside it. i can't get past that. i physically can't get past that. ## the lemon is outperforming us vader has never once cared what anyone looks like. no background check on your skin. no questions about your god. you walk in, he decides you're family, and that's the end of the vetting process. i love all dogs the exact same way. every breed. all dogs are cute, no matter what. it costs nothing. an entire species, unconditional, zero exceptions. dogs run this program on a brain the size of a lemon. we're carrying around the most complex object in the known universe and we use it to rank each other by pigment. the lemon is outperforming us. ## i don't have a word for this there's a feeling that shows up when i sit with this and i don't have a word for it. it's somewhere between rage and grief and static. some things hit me at a volume i can't explain to people. this is the loudest one. i keep seeing the same picture. a person, a whole person, standing in front of another person, being told they're not one. and everything in me short-circuits at once. i've read the history. the psychology. the tribe-brain evolutionary explanations. i still don't understand, because understanding requires something to be there, and there's nothing there. dice and fear. that's the whole machine. it's empty and it still kills people. i don't understand it. i don't understand it. i don't understand it. but i'd rather stay confused by hate than ever become fluent in it.